This week has been really tough emotionally, last week I started chatting to a guy online and we hit it off, all was going well and then I fucked up, I allowed my insecurities to get the better of me and I made a mistake, and unfortunately, although I apologised the guy decided that he didn’t want to chat anymore. I’ve gone over my actions hundreds of times in my head and wish I could have changed them but that’s a lesson learnt.
Feeling emotionally strung out and still having to “show up” for work has been hard, tears aplenty and sleeping badly. I feel like hiding away and shutting the world out for a while. I am so glad that I live on my own as I can kind of do that if I really wanted to. I’ve kind of done it in the past where I’ve turned my phone off for a few days, am tempted to do a longer period over the festive break as a way to “reset” myself
Not been to the gym and my appetite has been non-existent, knowing that I need to force myself to eat to keep my energy going. Have lost all motivation around exercise which is really unlike me if I am honest, usually it can go for a few days but it’s been months this time around. For most of this year, I’ve not really felt it and as I see other gym members getting fitter and stronger I feel like I’m going completely the other day which isn’t a great thing when I’ve set out to do this full life transformation.
Not really sure how I get back into the zone, maybe some rest at Christmas is what I need.